Sunday, 17 April 2011

Fact File #1: Presidents of the USA

Hello my soon-to-be-educated friends, Barry Chindouche is back! I have been on a long absence 1, but I am now back with a bang. You are now free to give me your undivided attention once more, as I take you on a journey through the world of knowledge.

I was recently contacted by a source seeking knowledge. This is not rare for me, as you can imagine. However, I feel that it is time to broaden my teaching to the world. This week, a fact file on the most powerful men to ever walk the earth: US presidents.

Obama - Black president #3
  • Contrary to popular belief, Barack Obama is in fact the third black president2. It was a strategic coup on the part of his PR team to convince the world that he is the first.
  • Abraham Lincoln was allergic to crab (a then common thickening agent). His trademark top hat concealed a state-of-the art epinephrine auto-injector.
  • William Howard Taft was never voted into power. He took a wrong turn during a public tour of the White House, ended up in the Oval Office, and took a quick nap in the comfortable chair he found there. During the time he slept, the then president (Theodore Roosevelt) choked to death on a chicken bone3. The senate consulted the constitution, and found that clause 17(ii) stated that if the Oval Office is occupied when a president dies, they assume power. Taft proved to be a terrible president and the clause was quickly dropped from the constitution.
  • Lyndon B. Johnson was so scared of balloons that he outlawed them during his presidency. 7 people were sent to the electric chair for illegally selling birthday balloons.

Just a short one today - I feel your brains need warming up after the long absence from knowledge that they have suffered.

B. Chindouche

1for more on this, see future blog post “I told you I was innocent - Chindouche fought the law, and Chindouche won”
2after George Washington and Ulysses S. Grant
3leading to the first ever pun in US news history: "President Dead - Fowl Play Suspected"

No comments:

Post a Comment